As de Great Storm Magus Barrabus and I are galloping away to handle our respective tasks in de Silver Waters Palace, I am again feeling a great gift in my spirit. We make a great day, begun by de morning sun and an innkeeper greeting us to a great festival in honor of de Wind God, Leki. As he has ever filled my sails with breezes of good fortune on de high seas, I am loathe to refuse de festivities.
De first of de great games happening in dis party I see is a rope walking game for un bacio from a beautiful lady. Fronted by a curious looking man with green eyes, I am intrigued. De lady, she is buxom and fair. Who but Undio de Dwarfterror is up to de challenge? With a little luck I am easily across de fifteen foot rope, my training as a mariner doing me service. I walk along de string like a robin on a twig. As I have mastered this acrobatic feat, I am indeed excite to collect de fruits of my achievements. I move in to also show my experience in de planting of wonderful wet labium embraces. After waiting for what seems forever(as it has been a while since I taste de spit of a fair maid), I open my eyes to see a ghastly visage in her stead, with black rings under de eyes of a demonic face. Eh, who am I to refuse? I instead plant one cutely upon this bella, and she is returned to gorgeous, and I am off again to think on my tastes, and perhaps show my expertise in other fields.
What good fortune! I have found another area in which I am not without much skill… ARCHERY! Yes, many a day had my cousin and I delved into the woods, and de bane of great boars were we. If it is for pricking or cutting or letting lifeblood, be assured, I am indeed proficient in its use. At my first try, I nock… aim… and Leki defies me dis day and a great wind blows my wonderful mariner’s fedora down over my eyes.
It is a trifle matter. Were it some foolish dwarf bumbling over a shortbow, it would sail far from mark. But I am no foolish dwarf! Though it was a quarter mile away, my quarry met its mark, right through de bullseye! Wonder of WONDERS is Undio! A raucous round of applause as it splits de target! Presented to me is a wonderful gift of a bejeweled raven. Another treasure added to the mass trove. Perhaps my children will enjoy this placed upon de mantle at home.
With another arrow nocked, I take another shot and wazzah! Another hit! De crowd goes insane! Closer this time, but I am given an ingot of precious metal. More, more, more! I am satisfied. De legend of Undio will live on in de hearts of de Oakdale folks forever.
With my raven and copper bar in tow, I purchase a trio of vino goblets to celebrate my party and I’s prowess. But Barrabus, I see him walking off with a wondrous art. Ah yes, he is a collector of fineries as well, I see! I should have known. He go away to stash his treasure while I imbibe with de Dame Melfina, and enjoy a show of acrobatic arts, wit a bear dancing along to music played by stout performers. Curious, dey have a look almost like de ones I have seen in de mountain halls of Mordok. Indeed my skepticism is accurate as we are enjoying de show and one of de performers attacks de Dame Melfina! BASTARDOS!
We jump headlong into action, and not without de Dame Melfina once falling temporarily to de battle between us and these assassinos, they are felled. I think perhaps dey are the ones led by a Shrike. Mighy Barrabus performed wonderful show of magus adeptness with cracks of lightning leaping from his hand and burning de strikers of de Shrike. He is powerful indeed. His magic hands pique my interest. How does a man become so amazing with de mere thought? I shall have to ask him to show me a thing or two. Melfina also shows her prowess, smiting with gusto de fighters who would try to take us down. Geova was indeed with her that day. And a good thing, for without her might we surely would have perished.